Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
