ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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