The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize