Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
