Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
