Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
