addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
