i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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