It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
