Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
