need another drink. this is the easiest way
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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