everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
