2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
