before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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