Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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