his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
