I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
