I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
