Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize