every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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