I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
