I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
