Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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