You're my little dorito
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
