I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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