I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize