ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize