and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
