Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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