Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
