so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize