they need to just BURY HIM!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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