sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
