ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
