I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
