Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
