Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
