areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
