We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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