when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
