You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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