glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
