Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
