there's paper in my vomit.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
