Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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