OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
