What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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