just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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