Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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