is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
