We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
