There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize