i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
