i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
