you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
