My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
