We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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